My best friend

I would like to talk about my inspiration, my walls, my best friend in the world.

What is it about a person that makes you love them? Is it that they have your back no matter what? Is it that they seem cool?

That’s not the case for me. I’m original in so many ways and common in only a few ways. But my best friend is someone who I’ve known my entire life. She’s the best person in the world to me.

Her favorite color is green

She loves to draw and wear some rather funky things.

My mother is my best friend. Even though I’ve lied to her, I’ve stolen, yelled at and almost always never really appreciated her. My mother is my world, only I can never really get the chance to see her.

My father and mother got a divorced when I was really young. I lived with my mother and grandfather and my elder brother with my father. Through middle school I became a rebel, and started hanging out with the wrong crowd. I did things I should have never done, but I can’t change that now.

My freshman year of high school I was failing out badly. The excuse I have for that is I was taking care of my mother and grandfather. My mother had since lost her job about 3 years prior. Little did anyone know that she had a brain tumor. My grandfather use to touch my chest and nothing more, I forever saw it as abuse. I had told my mother but because we had no where else to go, I resented my mother for not stopping it or changing it.

This was before my mother brain tumor, and not her first either. Her brain tumor controlled what she did. She would stand in one area for hours and not move. Her bowel movements would happen at random times. She was going blind in one eye.

I never valued my mother until I moved in with my father my freshman year. My father always makes me feel like I should pity her, but I know better. My mother made me the strong person I am today. Little did I know her unknown life lessons would affect me today. I went through a lot of rough changes when I arrived at my dad’s house. His ex-wife (finally) was a cruel…witch(we know that’s not what I want to say) she was like a slave driver. She treated my family like  crap. She made it tough for me to really be a kid.

My mother was always there for me to call and talk to. She was my best friend for a long time. She’ll always be there for me. But what I didn’t expect was for my mother to go through so many surgeries. But how many times can they drug you and cut your skull open until you can’t think straight anymore. This is the issue I’m dealing with. I know my mother’s death is coming, maybe not soon but it’s there. My worst fear is my mother dying before I can see her.

The reason I wrote this was to  help people in close situations. Your not alone. I’m open to talking to anyone or help with grieving. Your parents are precious and special. They care for you and love you, and for people who don’t have that I’m truly sorry. I hope you’ve found someone to look up to as a guardian.

I’m so envious of the people who have both parents. I’ve always wanted a normal life, and I don’t think I’ll ever see one. But I know that if I had a normal life, I wouldn’t be like this. Cherish who you are as a human. It doesn’t matter if your different and unsure. That’s life shaking you to realize your potential. Not matter what realize you are strong and you are unique and never give that up. I’m proud to write to people like this. I just hope someone reads my blogs and can relate to them in some aspect. 

Live to be who you are,

Celebrate what you’re not,

Dance to be unique,

Never strive to be common,

Let what you want lead you to your life,

it’s only a matter of time. 

Dream fledglings, dream.


One response

  1. Megan, when I read this I started to cry. I might have what people call a ‘normal life’ but I still get that feeling of complete utter non-normalness. This post was extremely great.

    April 27, 2011 at 2:15 am

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